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How to Shift a Compliant Relationship: Celebrating Your Desires & Honor Your Partner’s Limitations

Couples come to me a lot in search of relief from a sense of either resentment or obligation because either their partner won’t accommodate their desires or they’re feeling obligated to fulfill their partner’s desires and are living in compliance. Neither feels particularly sexy (unless you’re into that sort of thing, in which case there are kinks we will discuss elsewhere…). So, how can people in relationships have differentiated desires and still feel fulfilled? First, if you have unmet desires it’s important to affirm that you get to want what you want! Most people who come to me don’t actually believe that it’s ok to want what they want. They feel they have to be justified, or their part

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SUSAN COATES

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